If you've ever felt a strong sense of connection or intimacy with someone you've never met — such as a professional athlete, movie star or social media influencer — you've been in a parasocial relationship. These one-sided relationships may only exist in your mind, but the bond you feel with that person can be very real.
More than half of all Americans have likely experienced a parasocial relationship. That number increases for adolescents, with research showing that more than 60% think of their favorite social media personalities as relationship partners.
The truth is, parasocial relationships are not all bad — they can fill certain emotional needs and offer some benefits. But if your parasocial relationships start edging out real relationships, it could negatively impact your mental health.
To assess the possible parasocial relationships in your life, learn why people form parasocial relationships and how to know whether that one-sided relationship is beneficial or unhealthy.
What is a parasocial relationship?
A parasocial relationship is a one-sided relationship with someone you don't know but feel like you know. Maybe you've learned that a certain celebrity or social media personality has children the same age, enjoys the same books or lives with a similar health condition — and you feel connected.
Being in a parasocial relationship is different from fandom. As a fan, you may put someone on a pedestal and admire the person's films, music or athletic talent. A parasocial relationship goes further and involves a more personal connection because you may think of the celebrity or media personality as a peer. You feel like you understand their personality and life — and you feel immersed in it.
Engaging in parasocial relationships is common and may happen for several reasons, such as:
- Convenience: Parasocial relationships are easy. They aren't as demanding as real-life relationships and don't involve conflicts.
- Familiarity: When you "see" someone all the time on social media or television, it can begin to feel like you know them — even if the character you see is fictional.
- Loneliness: You may seek out a parasocial relationship because you crave connection.
- Social inclination: Some people thrive on being social, and if you aren't getting that need met in person, a parasocial relationship can fill that void.
You'll know you are in a parasocial relationship if you feel driven or compelled to find out more about their personal life. You may believe that if you met that person in real life, you'd be best friends or romantically involved.
Potential benefits of a parasocial relationship
Parasocial relationships are typically harmless and can help meet emotional needs. Research suggests that while a strong parasocial relationship does not fill emotional needs as well as a strong two-sided relationship, it does fulfill them better than a two-way relationship that is fragile or lukewarm.
For many people, a parasocial relationship can be beneficial if it:
- Reduces loneliness
- Provides comfort or a sense of security
- Makes you feel connected
- Shapes your values in a positive way and motivates you
How parasocial relationships can negatively affect mental health
While a parasocial relationship may initially curb loneliness, it can eventually leave you feeling lonelier and more isolated than before. If your one-sided relationship starts to take the place of real connections and social interaction, it could be harmful to your mental health.
According to the National Mental Health Hotline, some parasocial relationships may lead to:
- Avoidance of in-person socialization
- Emotional dependency on a relationship that isn't real
- Increased loneliness
- Heightened anxiety, often about losing the connection
If your parasocial relationship feels more like an obsession or causes strong feelings of jealousy or deep distress, the mental health effects may be more severe.
Signs your parasocial relationship is unhealthy
Parasocial relationships can be powerful — they can affect your thoughts, change how you feel and even influence your actions. In extreme cases, you may find yourself being swayed to buy a product you don't need or can't afford if your parasocial "partner" suggests or uses it.
Signs of an unhealthy parasocial relationship include:
- Belief that the relationship is mutual or personal, which may be more likely to happen if it involves live streaming
- Difficulty maintaining real-life relationships and prioritizing your parasocial relationship over everything else
- Jealousy of the celebrity's real-life relationships or feeling hurt if you don't "see" them for a while
- Impaired daily functioning, possibly due to time spent focused on your parasocial connection
- Losing touch with reality or fantasizing about real-life meetings and conversations
If you feel like you may have an unhealthy parasocial relationship in your life, it could be time to break it off. Reduce your social media exposure, reconnect with friends and family, and explore your emotional needs. Why did you seek out that one-sided relationship? What need did it fill?
Talking to your health care provider can also help. They can recommend resources and mental health professionals who can help you fulfill your emotional needs in healthier ways.
